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Timberwear

Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 7:10 am
by BoxcarOkie
The rumors of my untimely passing are not true, don’t believe it.

Glad I stopped by here today, found a chuckle. “Need to borrow a couple of eyes” Now that, as my grandson is fond of saying was a “real hoot,” (I too, need some new eyes, but it is because of too many birthdays.)

Incredible, pay $4,500 for a bus sight unseen on the recommendation of .... Oh never mind. Been down this well worn path before. I just found that somewhat unbelievable. The things you find on today’s modern bus-boards, eh?

Mothers Day, another year has rolled around, and that “Special Day” for the bride is here again. Last year I managed to get into some very hot water with my gift, I asked her what it was that she wanted, on this, her special day. She responded with, “Oh something white, has a little chrome, and goes from 0 to 120 in a few seconds.” I bought her a bathroom scale, now I am here to testify, “that dog didn’t hunt.”

This year I am definitely paying MORE attention to details.

One year, I believe it was about five years ago, she came home with this HUGE mothers day card and gave it to me. I looked at her rather curiously and said, “What is this? Why are you giving me this?” and she smiled and said, “Well Hon, you are the craziest mother that I know!”

Life it seems holds many surprises.

Unfortunately for me, some things in life, never seem to change. I find myself standing here, something akin to a new calf, looking at a gate for the first time. I believe life has handed me another mystery, and I just don’t know how to deal with it. As usual I haven’t a clue as to what to get her, the girl in my life, my cup cake. I need to find something for my lover, my confidant, my parsimonious grocery shopper, the person who brings a smile to my well worn-down face.

A face I might add, that only a mother could love.

She’s my girl, my bride. Just the other day, she looked up at me and said, “Y’know honey, we have a marriage that was made in heaven.” I smiled my toothy smile and replied, “Isn’t that where they make thunder and lighting?”

See … If you answer with a question, they can never gain control over the conversation. Remember that.

Now I know that some of this might sound sexist, but it isn’t, as I have said before, “I like women and sometimes they like me.” Both of us are fairly comfortable with each other, well into our sixties now, aging like a bottle of fine wine, and looking at life much differently. For instance, we now break our Viagra in half, because she said, “I just want to cuddle.”

Which I willingly oblige. (Tell me I am not sensitive.)

Mothers Day two-thousand-ten hmmmm? Maybe I can get her some of that new underwear that is being made out of WOOD. Yes, I said wood, you are not reading it wrong. Timber Wear! Tell me this isn’t an exciting time to be alive ... Uh huh, yeah sure.

These environmentally friendly knickers and bra’s use fibers from white pine trees. There is no risk of splinters because the fibers are spun to create a silky-soft fabric. Non-Toxic dyes are used to eliminate allergic reactions. They are currently being sold in the U.K..

The material has more microscopic holes for air circulation than polyester and twice the absorbance of cotton related items. The French designed rage. Currently being marketed in Britain is being sold by a company named “BYnature.” It is being called g=9.8, which everyone knows is the scientific figure of the earth’s acceleration. Almost too weird to be considered real, but it is.

I guess they would be alright until the termites or the Ax Men or Swamp Loggers showed up! (Discovery Channel, check your local listings)

See you in the fast lane, watch those right-handers.

BCO

Re: Timberwear

Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 7:04 am
by sstrucinski
She shouldn't feel too bad. All I got for mother's day was a card from my sister. I'm not exactly sure when "Step-Mother's day" happens but I'm thinking it's not a real holiday and it probably wouldn't be observed if it were.

Wooden undies sound pretty cool, right up until the point I drop my ciggarette while smoking in bed. Puts a whole new meaning on the phrase "light a fire under your ass".

Re: Timberwear

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 3:55 am
by BoxcarOkie
[quote="sstrucinski"]She shouldn't feel too bad. All I got for mother's day was a card from my sister.

All I get on Father's Day is collect phone calls

drum roll ... Take My Wife Please!

BCO

Re: Timberwear

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 6:01 am
by sstrucinski
Yeah, father's day always was an underrated holiday. I've always been a daddy's girl and my dad is pretty awesome so I try to do my best to show some love on father's day. Hopefully it's enough to prove my love.

Re: Timberwear

Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 7:54 pm
by BoxcarOkie
sstrucinski wrote:Yeah, father's day always was an underrated holiday. I've always been a daddy's girl and my dad is pretty awesome so I try to do my best to show some love on father's day. Hopefully it's enough to prove my love.
A daughter is a daughter all of your life ... A son is a son, until he takes a wife.

BCO